Personal Log of Commander Irina Shepard

0012

Thu, 17 May 2012 18:34:00 -0700

Always something about the geth touch that takes the life out of a place.

Shame. Prothean ruins have an unsettling beauty to them. Saw one on Chasca early in my career and it left quite an impression. Pruit Igoe and Prophecies comes to mind…

See a mining company’s felt the need to make itself at home as well. Their treatment of the place is abominable but they’ve given us plenty of crates to hide behind. Also been courteous enough to install elevators. Geth really do make strange bedfellows.

Don’t know if I’d want to live in this place if I were a Prothean… don’t like the climate. Then again, what the hell do I know. I’m not a Prothean. Evidence points to their minds being elementally unknowable.

The Lieutenant claims some of the tile work on the ruins reminds him of a bathroom floor. Wonder how much he left the house before enlistment. Really, if this is his idea of keeping morale afloat…

0011

Sat, 05 May 2012 12:02:47 -0700

There is something singularly wrong with the Spectre system. Can’t put my finger on what. Not sure whether it’s giving a public profile to what are supposed to be agents or… or I don’t know.

I know David isn’t happy to bequeath his ship, no matter what he tells me. Wish I could at least keep him on board.

But, you know, I really believe this is why there’s so much antipathy between humans and the Council. We do stupid things in public forums, so the Council never sees our potential for anything other than stupidity. When they give us the short shrift in response, we get angry. In a public forum. Then humanity wonders why its reputation is so dreadful and suggests that we are, in fact, as stupid as the Council perceives us to be.

Maybe if they’d stop stamping their feet and throwing toys at each other they’d realise they can get along. Not my bloody job to mediate, though. I’m not a mother to one child, let alone entire races.

Departing soon for the Artemis Tau cluster. Hear there’s an asari archaeologist that could be valuable to us. Don’t see why they didn’t just patch through to her mother and ask her where she went. No indeed - they’d rather watch us scrounge through Prothean ruins. Charming.

0010

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 01:30:40 -0700

Well.

Now they’ve done it.

Spectre Shepard… got a nice ring to it.

I know you always told me I’d amount to something, dear, but neither of us thought of this, did we? I’m a jaded old girl and even I’m surprised.

Maybe it’s because I feel I don’t deserve it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they’re taking David’s ship from him. If I thought it wouldn’t risk my political neck I’d march in and demand it returned. Injustice. Sheer bloody injustice.

Hey Commander, is it true you're a biotic?

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:58:00 -0700

Completely. I was lucky they manifested late. By the time I required implants the L2 had become obsolete.

Human treatment of biotics is fucking deplorable. One would hope that, with continuing research and biotic achievements, attitudes will shift to more resemble those of - say - the asari.

0009

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 22:51:00 -0700

They send me in to find one turian and it’s like I’ve taken a bloody cane to a beehive. Operation Citadel Storm or something. Christ, am I tired of putting down petty gang incursions. Can talk half of them down by threatening to call their mothers.

I have a rogue Spectre to catch. This is C-Sec’s job. You know, if they weren’t busy arguing with hanar about religion or planting moles in Chora’s Den. Ambassadors still tight in the throat about their reputations. Diplomats still handling serviceman deaths with the tact of a boot to the gonads. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Speaking of the rogue Spectre. Seems I have characters from all walks of life rising to the occasion in light of Udina’s fumbling. The turian himself being one. C-Sec himself… ironic. Seems enthralled to the vids’ portrayal of police work but knows how to take care of business. So does the krogan, as long as it involves his foot in someone’s face.

To be candid I don’t know how these two are going to adapt to military life. David runs a tight ship. We’ll see.

Gunnery Chief was none too happy about either recruit. Asked her how she would feel if the military gave women the same side-eye she gives aliens. Seem to have made my point.

Saved the best news for last, though. Rescued a quarian with an audio file incriminating Saren. Took her on straightaway, and as soon as this log is done that file is going right to Udina. Will relish the upward pressure on my hand as I rub his nose in it.

0008

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:40:00 -0700

Forgot how rough the Wards can be in the wrong places. Been shot at, sexually harassed, given a faceful of asari arse and elbowed by a krogan in the space of an hour. Quaint.

Seems David has a lot of dirty laundry he conveniently forgot to tell me about. Hope it wasn’t because he thought I’d no longer look up to him. Just motivates me all the more to get to the bottom of this Saren rubbish… give the man some peace of mind.

I really think you would’ve liked him, dear girl.

Hear there’s been an altercation at the med clinic. Wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t go and gently mop up. Hope the Lieutenant eases off on the biotics. Very impressive, I told him - now if he would stop throwing furniture past my face.

Thanks for the new menu, Commander. Went to see Dr. Chakwas like you suggested, too. She's not bad! You know... for the medical type. I wanted to request a few extra minutes of vid time this week to talk to Jenkins' family after Eden Prime, too. I tried asking the XO, he told me it would be better to ask Lt. Alenko, but the LT seems kind of... distracted lately. So up the chain of command we go!

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:46:00 -0700

Cutting the middling tripe and appealing to someone who can give the order ex cathedra - you’re going to go far, soldier.

Permission granted. Intend to speak to Jenkins’ next-of-kin myself. Will not sugarcoat what I tell them. But the Corporal died an honourable death. That much is inarguable.

0007

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 01:44:58 -0700

I think the Lieutenant made a comment about my looks.

Distinctly uncomfortable.

Will keep him on but must take disciplinary action if I see any further misbehaviour.

0006

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 15:24:23 -0700

Presentation to Council spectacular failure. Surprise to no-one.

Seems they want evidence. Offered to stick my head in an MRI and think lovingly of Protheans. Denied, of course.

Lunch with David at 1:30. Know he’s going to trip over himself apologising for Udina’s incompetence. Hope he doesn’t. Spoils my appetite.

0005

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 17:08:00 -0700

Waiting in Citadel air traffic to land. Can hardly wait. I mean, I have so much fun visiting the human embassy. Always have. Nothing like sitting there watching Udina not negotiate his way out of a fucking paper bag. Temptation is strong to write in the report that Saren silenced the murder weapon with a pair of pink knickers. Will be about as believable as what Udina tells them.

David tells me he wears a toupee. Immense, unapologetic schadenfreude.

Assigned the Lieutenant to my diplomatic retinue. Gunnery Chief insisted on coming along - if I bring someone un-belligerent I can hope to break even.

Wonder if that Presidium ice cream parlor is still there. Haven’t forgotten the mint sundae, dear girl. Won’t for a long time.

[ARCHIVE RECOVERED: FILE OUT OF ORDER]

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 10:41:00 -0700

If what happened at the Crucible was as these insufferable bints portrayed it I would not be here today. As diverting as it is to read that I’ve died, or become a Reaper, or… turned you all into some daft man-machine goop, it’s just not fucking accurate. I am a married woman. I live on the Citadel. I utilise mass relays regularly, as do millions of galactic citizens.

Read a saying once describing the obstruction in someone’s cloaca as their own cranium. Find it an appropriate metaphor for these “developers.” Sounds like a bloody tinfoil nom de guerre if you ask me.

Don’t believe everything you’re told, esteemed public.

- Cdr. I. Shepard

0004

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 15:25:00 -0700

Lost a corporal. Lost a Spectre. Lost the beacon. Passed out for an abominable length of time and this entire mission was just fucking arsed. Perfect storm. Worst-case scenario. Wouldn’t put it past the council to scrap the entire human embassy. Forget about Spectre induction.

This was your fault, old girl. You should have scouted ahead before Jenkins rushed in. Should have made sure the area was clear before letting Nihlus investigate. Should have kept the line of communication more open.

Your fault.

Your fault.

Hope the Lieutenant has absolved himself of any guilt about the beacon. Not his job to assume responsibility for others’ mistakes.

Note: Have a talk with Dr. Chakwas about the Lieutenant’s suitability for combat. Seems perfectly capable but I’ve been informed he’s an L2. Concerned that the side effects will hamper his ability as a soldier.

P.S. Looked into this Gunnery Chief Williams. Seems notorious for insubordination. Other officers had problems with her. Like to see her try that with me.

0003

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 14:54:00 -0700

Have been informed of Spectre candidacy. Just when I thought the Council had pulled every trick in the book…

Am I flattered? Of course. Do I want it? Of course. Feel a little like Macbeth doing it but of course. They don’t think I’ve earned it, though. Seems the Normandy’s shakedown run is going to be mine, too.

You know I can’t help but wonder if the talent portion of this beauty pageant is a turian thing. Could be worse, though. Could be a quarian. Ought to be thankful they’re considering us at all.

Approaching Eden Prime. Signing off again. Been ten years since I’ve set foot on the place. I hear it’s not what it used to be.

I could always appreciate a woman who knows how to kick ass and take names ♥ A salute to you, darling!

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 10:24:00 -0700

No need for civilians to salute military personnel. It looks silly enough with a uniform on.

Appreciate the compliment, though.

0002

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 21:37:00 -0700

I think if it weren’t for Flight Lieutenant Moreau’s unsurpassed ability some CO would have thrown him out the airlock. I refuse to call him that bloody nickname. I didn’t get where I am on insisting people call me Reeree, or somesuch tripe.

Christ, someone has to uphold the chain of command.

There’s got to be something, though. Something other than talent that’s made so many commanders stick with him. I may give him the benefit of the doubt.

But I’m still not calling him that nickname.

Being summoned again. David says it’s important. I hope they have an iron onboard. Dress blues don’t press themselves.

I wanna party with you.

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 21:14:00 -0700

All play and no work makes Irina still a Commander in three years.

You're really pretty nwn

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 20:41:00 -0700

The military is a foetid wasteland for feminine upkeep.

I make do with what I have.

Hey Commander, not to be a tool, but can we get some new grub? These MREs were probably designed for turians. They're giving me the shits.

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 20:27:00 -0700

I thought there was some perverse lower-deck bonding that came from lamenting over the abysmal food quality.

But yes. I’ll put in a word.

And take your gastrointestinal concerns to Dr. Chakwas. I’m interested in your military prowess, not your bloody colon.

0001

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:48:00 -0700

Glorious. Four weeks of shore leave became three. Count on the high command to be nothing if not miserly.

To do:
~~- Tour of Normandy~~
- Acquaint self with crew
- Investigate sound system in quarters

I don’t know what the hell the Alliance is thinking mucking about with a drive core that large. It’s either going to be the best ship in the fleet or fry the gametes of everyone on board. Do hope Engineer Adams understands the occupational hazard. Going to be a rude surprise for a Mrs. Adams if not.

For once, though, they’ve entrusted it to the right person. David is a damned fine individual and won’t do anything stupid with it. I’d be honoured to be appointed to my own position if I didn’t think I was there for political cock-wagging. Take a shiny new ship, put a shiny Star of Terra recipient on it, and wow, don’t the humans suddenly look posh. Wonder if they’re going to press for a council seat again.

Someone’s knocking. Think it’s time to survey the crew. God, I hope they know what they’re doing.